The Ridge Reset

You made it, now slow down.

Welcome to The Ridge Reset.
Your hosts Jarrod and Julia put together this page for every couple who stays at The Ridge.

This isn't a checklist, it's a few gentle prompts designed to help you make the most of the time you've carved out together away from the day to day grind.

Use this as little or as much as you'd like.

A Note from Jarrod & Julia

A few questions worth asking

These questions are drawn from relationship research, particularly the work of John Gottman, whose decades of study focused on what makes couples thrive.

This isn't therapy, these are just good questions that we've found useful in our relationship journey. They're the kind you always mean to ask, but never get a chance in amongst the daily chaos of life.

To start, pick a section that feels right for where you're at:

For couples who have been together a while

  • What's something you've learned about me in the last year that you didn't know before?

  • What do you think I worry about most that I don't talk about?

  • What's something we used to do in the early days that you'd love to bring back?

  • When do you feel most like yourself around me?

  • What's something you've always wanted to do together but we've never quite got around to?

  • Is there something you've been wanting to say that you haven't found the right moment for?

  • What does a really good year look like for us — not individually, but together?

  • What's one thing I do that makes you feel genuinely loved?

  • If we could design the next five years intentionally, what would we make sure was in it?

  • What's something you're hoping changes — for you, for us, for life in general?

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For couples still figuring each other out

  • What part of your life do you feel like I don't fully understand yet?

  • What's something you're genuinely proud of that you rarely talk about?

  • What does home feel like to you — not a place, but a feeling?

  • What's your version of a perfect day — from start to finish?

  • What's something about the way we are together that surprised you?

  • What do you need from a relationship that you've sometimes found hard to ask for?

  • What does commitment mean to you?

  • When do you feel closest to me?

  • What's something you hope I always remember about this time in our lives?

  • What are you most looking forward to — in life, not just us?

  • Is there anything you've been waiting for the right moment to bring up?

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For couples who just want to have fun

  • What's the most spontaneous thing we've ever done together? Could we top it?

  • If we had to describe our relationship as a movie genre, what would it be?

  • What's something I do that you find endearing but have never actually told me?

  • What's the best meal we've ever eaten together? Where are we going next?

  • If you could only eat one thing for the rest of your life, what would it be and how long before I'd be annoyed by it?

  • What's a completely irrational opinion you hold that you know is wrong but refuse to let go of?

  • If we swapped lives for a day, what's the first thing you'd do as me?

  • What's something you thought you'd never do that you now do regularly because of me?

  • What's on your bucket list that I don't know about?

  • If we could book a trip anywhere tomorrow, no budget, where are we going?

  • What's something you want to try this year that we haven't talked about yet?

  • When was the last time you were genuinely surprised by me, in a good way?

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For couples navigating a challenge

  • What have you been carrying lately that I might not fully know about?

  • What would feel most supportive from me right now — even if it's hard to say?

  • Is there something between us that you've been wanting to clear the air on?

  • What do you need more of from me? And what do you need less of?

  • When did you last feel really seen by me?

  • What would it look like if things were better — for you, for us?

  • What's one thing you wish I understood about how you're feeling?

  • What do you love about us — even now, even when it's hard?

  • What's one small thing we could do differently that might help?

  • What does 'better' look like to you — not perfect, just better?

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Before you go any further

Ok, step away from the questions.

Seriously. Put your phone down, close this page, and go do something together.

A nature walk, turn on the sauna, drive into the village and find grab a coffee at Bennetts. Watch the sun move across the valley from your deck, or float in the spa a while.

The best conversations don't always happen face to face at a table, they happen side by side when you're moving, doing something with your hands, not quite looking at each other.

That's when the good stuff tends to come out.

Come back to the questions whenever, or just let the walk do the work.

Some ideas to get you moving:

– Walk the Mangawhai Cliffs track and talk about whatever comes up naturally
– Drive to the beach and just sit there for a while
– Get in the sauna together and agree not to talk about anything serious for at least twenty minutes
– Go into the village, get a coffee, wander around without a plan

Explore local dining experiences here →
Explore local activities here →

From Jarrod & Julia

Thank you for being here.

The Ridge exists because we believe people need more than a nice place to sleep. We wanted to build somewhere that actually helps couples slow down, reconnect, and remember what matters.

Whatever brought you here, we hope you leave feeling a little more like yourselves.

Jarrod & Julia